Oh god. I am staring at my computer screen. And it's 10:45 p.m. I have a little over 12 hours to get something done.
I know Douglas Adams said, "Don't panic." But I'm finding that advice harder and harder to take.
He also said, "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." But, that is not the way to go. That is not going to happen.
Oh no. Just, oh no.
BOOKS READ IN PAST MONTH THAT I CAN REMEMBER: The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger (6th time); Heavy Metal and You, Christopher Krovatin (5th time); It, Stephen King (11th time); Run to the Hills, Mick Wall (2nd time); Vampire Game Vol. 1 and 3, Judah, Demon Diary Vol. 1 and 2, Kara and Lee Hun Hee
Man, all this time spent re-reading. Sigh. At this rate, I'll never reach my goal of reading every book ever written.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sigh. The Iron Maiden mySpace group has posted the setlist for their 2008 tour.
Jeez, people! Honestly, what is the fun of knowing the set before you walk into the show? Isn't it much better thinking, "Oh no, they didn't play 'Fear of the Dark' or 'The Number of the Beast'?" And what if they decide to blow everyone away and play "Back in the Village" for once in their lives *cough, cough* *hint, hint, Iron Maiden*? Wouldn't you much rather go completely apeshit because from the surprise?
Man, people are no fun. Iron Maiden is no fun. They shouldn't be leaking their setlist.
Oh god! Did I just call Iron Maiden no fun? Oh no! I didn't mean that! Honestly, I didn't! Oh no! I take it back! I take it back!
Great, now Bruce Dickinson is going to challenge me to a duel and I'm going to die because I can't remember anything about fencing. Awesome. I guess, if I was going to die via foil poke, Bruce Dickinson is the guy to do it.
Jeez, people! Honestly, what is the fun of knowing the set before you walk into the show? Isn't it much better thinking, "Oh no, they didn't play 'Fear of the Dark' or 'The Number of the Beast'?" And what if they decide to blow everyone away and play "Back in the Village" for once in their lives *cough, cough* *hint, hint, Iron Maiden*? Wouldn't you much rather go completely apeshit because from the surprise?
Man, people are no fun. Iron Maiden is no fun. They shouldn't be leaking their setlist.
Oh god! Did I just call Iron Maiden no fun? Oh no! I didn't mean that! Honestly, I didn't! Oh no! I take it back! I take it back!
Great, now Bruce Dickinson is going to challenge me to a duel and I'm going to die because I can't remember anything about fencing. Awesome. I guess, if I was going to die via foil poke, Bruce Dickinson is the guy to do it.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
So watching the Transfomers movie (1986 cartoon, not the new Michael Bay one). And the movie starts with Unicron destroying an entire planet.
Just try to wrap your head around that one. An entire planet. We're not talking about a city or a country or anything. We're talking everyone on the face of that planet.
That's a butt-ton of destruction, people. If someone wants to blow up your planet, you're fucked.
Just try to wrap your head around that one. An entire planet. We're not talking about a city or a country or anything. We're talking everyone on the face of that planet.
That's a butt-ton of destruction, people. If someone wants to blow up your planet, you're fucked.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Questioning your place in the world? Unsure of where to go next?
Then, try fencing. I don't know what it is about holding a weapon and wearing a mask and poking people that gives me such a sense of purpose. But what matters is that I have it. Am I going to be a professional fencer? No. Does fencing have really anything to do with rock journalism? No. Are there professional fencers? I have no idea.
But I do want to be focused and I want to concentrate on school, writing, and fencing training because when I went to the FAP, I realized I have forgotten everything I learned. Including the fencing club's location, the difference between a left handed weapon and a right handed one, how to get dressed (all I needed was a freaking mask! Jeez, Fossett!), and how to do more than one thing at once (tap the other person's foible, extend, close the distance.)
Okay, blog readers. It's on the Internet, so that makes it official.
KRIS FOSSETT'S VOWS TO BE A BETTER PERSON
I Will...
Fence every Thursday night. And I mean every Thursday night. The only concert that I will skip fencing for is Iron Maiden or Bruce Dickinson (if he ever picks his solo career back up). (But Regina Spektor was really amazing.) (And Kelly Clarkson would have been fresh.) (Crap, what if MC Lars comes on a Thursday night?) (Or Avril Lavigne?) (1990s, DIO?!!)
Okay, I will fence every Thursday night, and if someone I love comes to town, then I will use my best judgement and see which one is more important.
Read all the documents and chapters that I have to. Before the SEPTA ride to school.
Write all my stories, articles, papers, etc. LONG before deadline.
Turn all articles the midnight before the day of deadline. Not of. Or after.
Study the night of the test. Not on the way to school.
Stop doodling and writing stories during History. I'm not in high school anymore.
Eat more fruits and vegtables. Remember those things. Fossett?
Not excessively drink.
Well, I will use my best judgement to discern when it is an okay time to excessively drink.
And I vow to make this last!
Then, try fencing. I don't know what it is about holding a weapon and wearing a mask and poking people that gives me such a sense of purpose. But what matters is that I have it. Am I going to be a professional fencer? No. Does fencing have really anything to do with rock journalism? No. Are there professional fencers? I have no idea.
But I do want to be focused and I want to concentrate on school, writing, and fencing training because when I went to the FAP, I realized I have forgotten everything I learned. Including the fencing club's location, the difference between a left handed weapon and a right handed one, how to get dressed (all I needed was a freaking mask! Jeez, Fossett!), and how to do more than one thing at once (tap the other person's foible, extend, close the distance.)
Okay, blog readers. It's on the Internet, so that makes it official.
KRIS FOSSETT'S VOWS TO BE A BETTER PERSON
I Will...
Fence every Thursday night. And I mean every Thursday night. The only concert that I will skip fencing for is Iron Maiden or Bruce Dickinson (if he ever picks his solo career back up). (But Regina Spektor was really amazing.) (And Kelly Clarkson would have been fresh.) (Crap, what if MC Lars comes on a Thursday night?) (Or Avril Lavigne?) (1990s, DIO?!!)
Okay, I will fence every Thursday night, and if someone I love comes to town, then I will use my best judgement and see which one is more important.
Read all the documents and chapters that I have to. Before the SEPTA ride to school.
Write all my stories, articles, papers, etc. LONG before deadline.
Turn all articles the midnight before the day of deadline. Not of. Or after.
Study the night of the test. Not on the way to school.
Stop doodling and writing stories during History. I'm not in high school anymore.
Eat more fruits and vegtables. Remember those things. Fossett?
Not excessively drink.
Well, I will use my best judgement to discern when it is an okay time to excessively drink.
And I vow to make this last!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Stories and Our Lives
Ever since I've started this class, Magazine Fiction Writing, I have been wondering what makes stories.
I mean, sure. Anyone can recite the events of their day, their vacation, etc. It doesn't matter if it's so exciting you want to jump through the walls or if it's so boring you also would want to jump through wall, because that would certainly make things not boring, right?
Technically, we've been talking about causality, epiphanies, character change, symbols, motifs. Stylistically, we've touched on three sets, changing the pace of the sentences, etc.
But really, I think that's all horseshit.
I don't think it matters how the story is presented. I think it's what the story makes you do afterwards that mean something. Stories are an emotional experience. They allow you to share your experiences and thoughts with someone else. If your story can make that person burst into tears or jump for joy or throw your story in the fire out of sheer anger, then you've got something.
Which brings me to my point. I would like to know what story stirred an emotional reaction in you. What story moved you?
My Picks:
It: Stephen King
The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower: Stephen King
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: J.K. Rowling
The Giving Tree: Shel Silverstein
Walk Two Moons: Sharon Creech
The Catcher in the Rye: J.D. Salinger
Spirited Away
Futurama, Season 3, Episode 11
I mean, sure. Anyone can recite the events of their day, their vacation, etc. It doesn't matter if it's so exciting you want to jump through the walls or if it's so boring you also would want to jump through wall, because that would certainly make things not boring, right?
Technically, we've been talking about causality, epiphanies, character change, symbols, motifs. Stylistically, we've touched on three sets, changing the pace of the sentences, etc.
But really, I think that's all horseshit.
I don't think it matters how the story is presented. I think it's what the story makes you do afterwards that mean something. Stories are an emotional experience. They allow you to share your experiences and thoughts with someone else. If your story can make that person burst into tears or jump for joy or throw your story in the fire out of sheer anger, then you've got something.
Which brings me to my point. I would like to know what story stirred an emotional reaction in you. What story moved you?
My Picks:
It: Stephen King
The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower: Stephen King
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: J.K. Rowling
The Giving Tree: Shel Silverstein
Walk Two Moons: Sharon Creech
The Catcher in the Rye: J.D. Salinger
Spirited Away
Futurama, Season 3, Episode 11
So, sigh. Registering for classes at Temple.
Actually, it's not that bad this time around. Man, the advantages of completing over 90 credits. And Temple's Portal has only crashed once, so not bad at all.
So, approximately 15 minutes has passed. Ladies and gentlemen, I am done registering for classes.
Something has to be wrong. It can't be this easy, right?
Not that I'm complaining.
Tootles.
Actually, it's not that bad this time around. Man, the advantages of completing over 90 credits. And Temple's Portal has only crashed once, so not bad at all.
So, approximately 15 minutes has passed. Ladies and gentlemen, I am done registering for classes.
Something has to be wrong. It can't be this easy, right?
Not that I'm complaining.
Tootles.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Oh no, Readers of my Blog!
I haven't posted in awhile, so I couldn't remember how to get back to my home page. In an effort to find my way back there, I think I just flagged my own blog.
So, if there's a warning when you try to access this, well, now you know why.
If anyone knows how to unflag a blog and would like to do so for Fossett Logic, then by all means, please do so. Unless you find my material or my occasional cursing fucking offensive and believe it needs to be flagged.
I haven't posted in awhile, so I couldn't remember how to get back to my home page. In an effort to find my way back there, I think I just flagged my own blog.
So, if there's a warning when you try to access this, well, now you know why.
If anyone knows how to unflag a blog and would like to do so for Fossett Logic, then by all means, please do so. Unless you find my material or my occasional cursing fucking offensive and believe it needs to be flagged.
Spammers, Argh!
Okay, don't be alarmed. This isn't going to be an all-out rant against spammers. Well, it is a slight rant, but I have reasons.
Since being employed (or well, interned, I suppose is a better word) at Decibel Magazine since May, I know all about clogging up people's inboxes with messages. In fact, I sympathize with spammers, up to a point.
Observe, this is a breakdown of Typical Kris Fossett DB Message:
SUBJECT: "[fill in band] profile in Decibel Magazine!"
[Notes on the Subject: The receiver of this message knows what's going on without reading the message.]
GREETING: Often "Hey [fill in name]!
[Notes on the Greeting: I have discovered that though I may be a HUGE E.B. White fan, potential readers of Decibel on mySpace are not. "Salutations" does not merit any responses. Also, if the person is foreign, I write the greeting in their language. See, spammers. There's a name and an effort to try to communicate with non-English speaking people.]
BODY: "How are you? I noticed you're a fan of [fill in band]. I just wanted to let you know that they're featured in [fill in Decibel issue]. Here's a link to the article: [fill in link].
[Notes on the Body: I state the purpose of this message. And I'm not giving anyone viruses nor am I asking for your social security number so I can rob your ass blind later. Though I may get 2 responses out of 50 messages sent, at least is some room for conversation.]
CLOSER: "Thanks! Kris Fossett Decibel Magazine"
[Notes on The Closer: If you're really pissed off that I'm telling you Iron Maiden was on the cover of Decibel's Jan. 2007 issue, then here's my name, here's where I work. You can yell at me if you want to.]
Personally, I think that's inbox clogging done right.
Which is why I get so offended when I see stuff like this:
SUBJECT: hi
BODY: "http://www.erxpharm.com rdr nyf grv
zwq jrq aaw."
What the hell is that? The things at the bottom are even attempting to be words!
If you wanted me to check out your stupid website, personalize it a little.
And yes, I send mySpace messages for my internship. That's right. Decibel Magazine would crumble without me.
Since being employed (or well, interned, I suppose is a better word) at Decibel Magazine since May, I know all about clogging up people's inboxes with messages. In fact, I sympathize with spammers, up to a point.
Observe, this is a breakdown of Typical Kris Fossett DB Message:
SUBJECT: "[fill in band] profile in Decibel Magazine!"
[Notes on the Subject: The receiver of this message knows what's going on without reading the message.]
GREETING: Often "Hey [fill in name]!
[Notes on the Greeting: I have discovered that though I may be a HUGE E.B. White fan, potential readers of Decibel on mySpace are not. "Salutations" does not merit any responses. Also, if the person is foreign, I write the greeting in their language. See, spammers. There's a name and an effort to try to communicate with non-English speaking people.]
BODY: "How are you? I noticed you're a fan of [fill in band]. I just wanted to let you know that they're featured in [fill in Decibel issue]. Here's a link to the article: [fill in link].
[Notes on the Body: I state the purpose of this message. And I'm not giving anyone viruses nor am I asking for your social security number so I can rob your ass blind later. Though I may get 2 responses out of 50 messages sent, at least is some room for conversation.]
CLOSER: "Thanks! Kris Fossett Decibel Magazine"
[Notes on The Closer: If you're really pissed off that I'm telling you Iron Maiden was on the cover of Decibel's Jan. 2007 issue, then here's my name, here's where I work. You can yell at me if you want to.]
Personally, I think that's inbox clogging done right.
Which is why I get so offended when I see stuff like this:
SUBJECT: hi
BODY: "http://www.erxpharm.com rdr nyf grv
zwq jrq aaw."
What the hell is that? The things at the bottom are even attempting to be words!
If you wanted me to check out your stupid website, personalize it a little.
And yes, I send mySpace messages for my internship. That's right. Decibel Magazine would crumble without me.
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