What Is Wrong With Some Teachers?

There is one person on my People I Sincerely Hope Are No Longer Among the Living (Or Missing All of His Comfy T-Shirts and Is Always Buring His Toast to a Blackened Mess Because Wishing Death Upon People Isn't Nice, No Matter How Much He Deserves It) List.

And that person is a teacher. My sophomore high school English teacher, to be exact. I won't go into details here, but to give you some perspective on why I wish an ill fate upon him: He woud drop pencils in front of blonde, big breasted high school sophomores and demand they pick them up. Because I am neither blonde nor big breasted, he made shit up about disciplinary "problems" I had, constantly getting me in trouble for things I did not do. It was always his words against mine, so I was up shit's creek.

Which brings me to my point: Perverts, miserable people, just plain assholes, these people that fall under this category don't see themselves as such. Why a lot of them are educators is beyond me.

Today, Drexel Hill Middle School Students swam at the pool. And this teacher marches up to my co-worker and barks, "Who are you?!"
Flabbergasted, my co-worker stammers her name.
"Didn't I have you as a student?!!!"
She nods quickly, backing up slowly.

Is that a normal, decent way to approach someone? It doesn't matter that this woman taught my co-worker in sixth grade, nor does it matter that my co-worker is in high school. She is a person, and the best way to approach a situation like the above, "How are you? How is school? You were one of my students, right? I'm sorry, but I can't remember your name." Am I right?

Do these people realize the impact they have on these children's lives? Not only was that woman rude to my co-worker, she purposely intimidated, berated, and belittled her students.

I said before, these people don't think, "I'm a rude. I'm mean, so I shouldn't traumatize a child's life."

But isn't it the job of the principal or whoever does the hiring to see these people for what they are and say, "I'm sorry, but you're not qualified for the job"? How can anyone in their right minds see some people as fit to be teachers? Especially for young children, even high school students, because often they lack the confidence and maturity to defend themselves properly.

There's more to being a teacher than educating (which I found a lot of them did that poorly, too.)

Y,Y,Y?!

I've been sitting here, steaming over the Great Mystery that is the opposite sex. What is it about the Y chromosome that makes men so freaking difficult to understand?

And after journaling, pouting, and making mixtapes, I realized something.

If dudes and ladies immediately understood one another, what would be the point? Would romance be nearly as fun if instantly you instantly understood the guy? Would telling the story of how you met be exciting if you everything was easy for you?

No. I think that one of the pleasures in life is to be frustrated by guys that you are romantically interested in. I mean, if guys called back right away and didn't leave you wondering what the hell you did wrong on the first date, if you did anything wrong, which you don't think you did, would that be fun? Would I have created that sad mixtape? Or even writing this blog?

No.

Besides, if I had the oppurtunity to be a guy for one day, I would turn it down and run the other way. Unless I could be Bruce Dickinson between 1982 and 1985. But then again, he's really, really hairy. He seems to sweat buckets, too. And he lived in a tour bus with four other guys. That bus probably smelled pretty bad. Scratch that. I wouldn't be any guy, even if he was Iron Maiden's frontman.

Readers of my blog, please help me keep away from Duellists, a UK fencing equipment company. Not that it's anything bad, I'm sure their products are great, but since it's UK, I would have to pay in pounds. And paying in pounds is no good from the USA. I have a perfectly fine pro shop at my club. Just because my hero owns Duellists does not mean I have to pay crazy prices due to exchange rates and have to wait for my stuff to be shipped here.

I must stay away.

And get back to work.

BRING BACK ANALOGUE!

Wow, it took me a really long time, but I've finally discovered what probably bajillions of rock snobs already know: analogue recording freaking rules.

I mean, records buzz in between songs. And I guess since I bought scratched records at a flea market, they're all squeaky in between songs. My needle is also messed up, so that I miss the first few measures of the opening song (which is really annoying because some openers, like AC/DC's "It's a Long Way to the Top" and The Who's "Baba O'Riley," NEED those few opening bars). It's so fantastic.

Not only to records rule, but so do cassette tapes. Years ago, I begged my parents for a CD player because I couldn't stand the constant rewinding of tapes, but now they rule. Especially making mixes on cassettes. I plan on doing that.

More things I plan on bringing back: brightly colored spandex pants. Trust me, they're going to be the new rage all over again. So is wearing an aikido dogi top with black pants. If you want people to run the opposite way, make it appear as though you're a ninja. No one messes with ninjas. I guess if I really want to push the envelope, I could wear spandex pants with an aikido doig top. Especially since I plan on not continuing with aikido after this semester. No offense eastern martial arts, but you're just not for me. You're just not DRAMATIC enough.

And in response to my last post, no, I still haven't emailed BD. One day, I will. I will.

VHS Rules! Stop with the Reissue!

Reissues achieved a status that I hope to have someday. Reissues are at the same time the greatest thing ever and the worst thing ever.

Like reissuing videos that were originally on VHS to DVD.

Pros: Remastered. Extra features. Less of a chance that the tape is going to disingrate.

Cons:
What if you recently spent $20 on a VHS tape? And you wanted the video to be on VHS tape because you thought it had a more retro quality? For example, it's a concert video from 1985. And it's so delightfully 80s. Brightly colored spandex. Loads of shiny silver chains hanging from a studded belt. High socks. Beautiful, long strawberry blonde hair on a certain singer. To put this in perspective on how cool this 1985 concert is, I was negative one when this came out! Powerslave was a new album!

But now I saw Iron Maiden is reissuing this concert on DVD.

Grr...Yes, I love the tape, but all recent concert videos always have interviews and really cool extras. Which means I have to buy Live After Death again.

And I need to get over my fear of trying to contact my hero. I've tried emailing Bruce Dickinson at the BBC six times now, only to find myself losing courage and NOT hitting "Send." After like 50 rewrites. Each. Man, if this was high school, I would be the chick that stares at him from the back of the class and giggles when he walks by. Or the chick that attempts to try out for the fencing team and melts when the he smiles and runs away all red faced from fencing tryouts. Without trying out. Or the chick who just stares at him if he asks for a pencil. Maybe I would have prank phone called him a bunch of times, too. Then I would just be known as That Awkwardly Creepy Chick to him.

But then again, if we did go to high school together, he would be forever known as That Dude Who Pissed in the Headmaster's Dinner and Got Kicked Out for Doing So. And he wouldn't be my hero because he would be That Dude. Who wants to hang and drink with That Dude?

Good thing Bruce and I didn't go to high school together.

Oh, Vampire Weekend, Why Art Thou Indie Power Pop?

So, Vampire Weekend is not, sadly, the greatest band in the world (don't worry, I haven't denounced Iron Maiden. They're the Greatest Band in the Universe, remember?).

I mean, they're good. Freaking great, actually. But not what I was expecting.

With a name like Vampire Weekend, I was expecting something like metal that awesome to dance to. Not straight up indie power pop. Do we really need more indie power pop? That's what 1990s, the New Pornagraphers, and The Apples in Stereo are for. We need more metal that's awesome to dance to, damn it! (Get on that, Maiden! Jeez!)

Like, who doesn't love vampires? Right, exactly. I'm not saying Vampire Weekend is bad, on the contrary, they're really freaking good, but my expectations for them were really, really high, like the planet Saturn high. And indie power pop just doesn't cut that.

I guess that's the last time I'm going to say a band is the greatest new band ever, just judging them by the name. Unless their name was like Bruce the Rock Star Vampire That Slays Zombies With Lazer Vision and Weilds Big-Asses Swords That Cut Across the Space-Time Continuum and Bakes a Mean Macaroni and Cheese. Now, that would be a hot name.

The Less Cool Version of England is Boring

I wonder if there's something wrong with me.

Really. I only have about two pages to read. It's after 1 a.m. and here I am blogging. Like, the time it took for me to see how everything is going, I could have read all about William Penn, and his good relations with the Native Americans, and since Penn's Woods was a peaceful spot, all the colonists came partying over this way.

Sigh. That's probably the reason. I know history is important. I know that it's important to know where we came from and all that, but really, I just want to look smart at cocktail parties if the subject of WWI or the Great Depression ever pops up. Or if my potential boyfriend's parents are all about history, I could wow them with my knowlegdge.

But do I really care about the time when the United States of America was a less cool version of England?

Nope.

Really, no, not at all. This was the time of funny hats and stockings. Maybe there are accents, but everyone is just running around, worrying about going to hell. That's not fun.

But you know what is fun (besides blogging when you're supposed to be studying? Oh History TA whom I haven't met yet: if I do poorly in class tomorrow, well, this is why)? This: A whole bunch of bands from my early teenaged years are playing shows in/or around Philly. Not only is there Type O Negative (and yes, Peter Steele is still dark, mysterious, and good looking), but there's Static X (industrial disco with tall hair!), and Down! Now, Down deserves an exclamation point because I loved Phil Anselmo when I was younger. Pantera was great, but there was something about Down that I just really loved. And now they're back, and they fucking rock.

Still waiting on news for the Spice Girls, though.

Elusive Classic Literature

I just finished reading Nick Hornby's The Polysyllabic Spree, which is a collection of articles he wrote for a literary magazine. It's about his struggle to read all the books he's actually bought.

This makes me feel a lot better about myself. I have this terrible (or maybe not so terrible, you decide) habit of buying classic literature that I will NEVER read. Let's face it, I amble into bookstores to either A: read a whole bunch of trashy metal magazines that run loads of pictures and publish dreadful articles (Metal Hammer, Revolver, Terrorizer, I'm looking at you. But that's okay, because I love you anyway), B: buy pulpy horror novels, or C: books that analyze pop culture, especially music.

So no, of course I'm never going to read Dante Alighieri's The Inferno. Or The Jungle or Crime and Punishment or Walden. I could have saved that $10 on another vampire novel or a slice of pizza and soda or even more useful, Iron Maiden crap. But no, something compels me to pick up that classic literature and have it sit on my shelf for eternity.

I thought I just had a problem. Here, it turns out, I'm okay. Nick Hornby does it too, and if they guy who wrote High Fidelity does it, then it's okay for me.

Hmm...I wonder if Bruce Dickinson buys a butt-ton of books that he has no intention of reading? Then, my habit would be really spectacular....

Books I Haven't Bought, But I Intend On Reading: Choosing Death: The Improbable History of Death Metal and Grindcore by Albert Mudrian (wink, wink Decibelians) (But seriously, I do want to read it.), David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, any Emily Dickinson poetry anthology (I hope she's as good as her last name implies).

Books I Just Read: The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby, The Missionary Position by Bruce Dickinson (the first book I ever read that made nauseated), Lucky by Anne Sebold (crazy/awesome), Traitor to the Blood by Barb and JC Hendee