Friday, June 26, 2009

Book Review: Stage Fright

Oh man, Stage Fright by Michael Paine is so bad, it doesn't even deserve a picture.

First off, I found this book at Giant Book Warehouse, a discount place for books that other stores couldn't sell. That should of said something right there. But, I liked the cover. How bad could it be?

Horrendous. I had no idea a book could be this bad.

This book is about ghosts. And throughout the book, every character will remind you about that. Almost every conversation starts out with, "Do you believe in ghosts?" "My thesis is about ghosts." "I like ghosts." "Ghosts touch me in a funny place." Okay, so maybe that's not verbatim, but the main character does enjoy getting raped and engaging in S&M play with ghosts.

And yes, it gets even worse.

Instead of focusing on a haunted theater in the middle of nowhere, which the back cover promised, the first half of the book is about college students trying to start a theater company. It takes the students over 100 pages (a third of the book) to find the theater, while chapters start out with monologues from the ghosts at the theater taking away any mystery or fear.

Paine created characters that were unrealistic. No character in this book warranted my sympathy. When the students first explore the ancient theater, one person dies viciously and another goes missing, but what the living characters are worried about are relationship problems and S&M sex. Why S&M is mentioned so much in a book supposedly about ghosts is beyond me.

Honestly, I just kept going because I couldn't wait for everyone to die, which most of them do in a quick, cheap bang! at the end. And of course, it leaves the door open for a sequel.

Now if that's published, that's truly scary.

0 out of 7

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