With all our latest advances in technoloy, why on Earth hasn't anyone invented email retrieval? Why must things be convienently sent with a push of a button? Like, you sort of have letter retrieval. If you didn't mean to send a letter, you can always try to stick your head in the mailbox and reach for it. Or be like Homer Simpson and shove a hose down the mailbox, though I think that may be against the law. Actually, it's really hard to accidentally mail a letter because you have to seal the envelope and buy a stamp and walk to the mailbox.

But email?! It's easy to absent-mindedly hit "Send," when you meant "Delete." Too easy. Like you realized your boss made a mistake on your schedule, so you sent her an email reminding her, but you thought it sounded too snotty, so you decided to not send the email and call her, but you accidentally hit "Send," so you sent her another email apologizing, so to prevent yourself from sounding like a total asshole, you offered to find a sub yourself for every stinking shift she scheduled you on that you told her previously you can't work. Damn it. I mean, that's just hypothetically speaking. Not saying that actually happened. Yeah, moving on...

I mean, mySpace has the option where you can delete messages you sent...

So my latest music obsession?

It's called Wizard Rock. It all started with Harry and the Potters, but now it's grown into this massive, insanely awesome new genre. My personal fave is Dobby and the House Elves, but Draco and the Malfoys and The Parselmouths are pretty damn cool, too. You see, I love indie rock and I love Harry Potter. It's the perfect combination.

So, thank you everyone that has made Wizard Rock possible. And thank you for making a whole bunch of your songs free on mySpace. That rules even more.

Also, if you want to hear the best remixes I've heard in a long time, check out the Illuminoids. They mash up a bunch of different songs to create something really unique. The best is "Boy Bomb," a mix of M.I.A.'s "Boys" and Beck's "Timebomb."

Kris the Action Star

I apologize for not writing anything. College students everywhere know the pain and frustration of mid-to-end semester work load.

And what better time to blog when a paper's due? Exactly.

For some most amazing cinema, check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uregN5qWsWU

Alright, back to work.

THE OFFICAL NAMING OF THE KRIS FOSSETT SYNDROME

This is a slight, minor pyschological disorder where the afflicted person purchases odd things, especially rock magazines that feature mostly emo bands, with no recollection of doing so later. Sometimes the afflicted person may deal with threatening letters from a magazine's collection agency or the puzzlement of owning a magazine with Fallout Boy on the cover.

I Would Be the Worst Vampire in the History of the Universe

Think life would be easier if you joined the undead? No way.

Here's why.

1. I don't have any canines. When I was 12, my orthodonist recommended the removal of these teeth. The reasons were that my canines were babies, and I had no adult teeth underneath. So, I don't think the teeth next to the canines turn into fangs. And no fangs would suck.

2. I hate the dark. I start getting paranoid and seeing weird shit. I may be able to see at night, but I don't think that would make the dark any less creepy. I guess the good thing about being a vampire would be that I would never have to lifeguard at DSC, ever. But, then I couldn't pass out on a hammock on a deserted tropical island.

3. Stealthy is not my middle name.

4. Neither is witty. What if I have to exchange banter with a wise ass slayer? I'd be so flustered from saying, "Yeah? Your face, slayer," that I would get staked in a heartbeat.

5. When people taught children how to speak in an "indoor voice," I wasn't there. But I did seem to attend the LOUD BOOMING THEATER voice class several times.

6. The sight of blood makes me woozy.

7. I would get bored.

Yeah, the life of a vampire is not for me. Now, the life of a ninja pirate zombie hunting rock star who can fence their name in people's shirts...

ADDENDUM TO MY VOWS TO BE A BETTER PERSON
I will get some sleep before deadline because I will have the stupid thing done before the morning it's due.
Especially when things are due two, three days in a row because that just sucks.

MySpace, YourSpace, TheirSpace

My friend and I discussed the "Truth About MySpace!!!" on Friday. And I've been trying to wrap my head around the enormity of the whole thing.

MySpace was not created by some guy named Tom, but really by a bunch of advertisers hoping to get a better hold on a demographic. Just think about how much freaking information mySpace has about you. Now think of the rest of the world. That's a lot of freaking people. That's a lot of tastes, preferences, hopes, fears, pictures. Who processes all that info? And better yet, what the heck do they do with all that?

At first, I was really scared, thinking that we're turning all George Orwell.

But then, come to think of it, I blog. My articles are posted online. I have a Facebook account. I work on mySpace. There's already a lot of Kris Fossett on the Internet.

And besides, with my mySpace account, I am this much closer to having a company produce a fencing weapon that sings Iron Maiden, shoot flames, turns into a chainsaw when detecting the presence of the undead, and can transform into a shovel when the owner wants to build a giant sandcastle. And it can also shoot pizzas from the pommel. And turn into a bike when you tap the bell guard.

I've tried to invent one, but all my attempts have been foiled. HAAAA!!! So, then I asked myself, "What's the point?" BA HA HA HA HAAA!!!!