Leaky Fossett

2010-12-03T02:01:00.002-05:00

I found these old cars in an auto shop in Pipersville, Pennsylvania.

Ringing Rock Park

2010-11-30T19:04:00.004-05:00

Pennsauken, NJ

2010-11-30T18:54:00.002-05:00

View from Old River Road.

View from the Pennsauken River Line Station.

Tainted Tea Summer 2010 Issue

2010-08-27T17:38:00.003-04:00

Featuring stories stories by Allen D. Reed, Theresa Nienaber, Donna Burgess and D.A. Hernandez; poetry by Adelaide Windsome; artwork by Simon Walsgrove, Lawrence Boos a.k.a. Undead Ed, Adelaide Windsome and J. Toogood; and features by Jim Kennedy and Tim Yockey.

Download it here. Also, don't forget to to grab the first issue, Fall 2009, for free.

Free Magazine!!!

2010-08-19T00:42:00.004-04:00

It's been almost one year, and the magazine is still going strong. We will publish the fourth issue later this month, and to celebrate our anniversary, the first issue is now FREE.

Download Fall 2009 on Tainted Tea's Web site. Our first issue features stories by M.C. Brody, Rick McQuiston, Jess Fowler, and me, narrative poetry by David Petteys, and features by Jim Kennedy and Tim Yockey, plus great photos by J. Toogood.

Did I mention it's free?

An Update on Patrick Wensink

2010-07-13T13:49:00.003-04:00

Dark humor writer, Patrick Wensink (I reviewed his first book Sex Dungeon For Sale! awhile ago) recently had a short film made from the title story of his first book.

Check it out on YouTube.

Donate to Tainted Tea

2010-07-06T20:12:00.002-04:00

Help my magazine, Tainted Tea, by donating on IndieGoGo. Click the image above. Funds raised will go toward paying the writers and artists who contribute, producing a print magazine, and other funding including cash prizes for an upcoming design contest.

Donate two dollars or more to get free issues and your name published in the magazine.

New Portfolio Look

2010-07-02T01:50:00.002-04:00

I did a redesign for my portfolio Web site, complete with more colors besides black and white and a PayPal "Donate" button (hey, I can dream, right?)

Movie Review: Toy Story 3

2010-06-26T18:20:00.002-04:00

It's fantastic. Go see it.

Neil Gaiman! Joe Hill!!! And Five New Writers I Love!!!

2010-06-18T02:05:00.006-04:00

On June 15, Shane R. Toogood and I attended a panel discussion on popular fiction with Neil Gaiman, Lawrence Block, Walter Mosley, Kat Howard, Joe Hill, Kurt Andersen, and Jeffrey Ford at Columbia University.

How was it?

THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!! I sat on Ivy League benches, walked on Ivy League grass, and fell in love with Ivy League libraries.

And also listened to masters of the craft discuss writing. (Pictured below.)

(Photo by Shane)

Read more about it on Tainted Tea's blog. Here's a sample: To paraphrase Gaiman, fiction is about making the reader turn the page, asking the question "And then what happened?" Everything is about disappearing into a world of fiction.

Short Story: A Few Thoughts on Catholicism

2010-06-18T00:55:00.004-04:00

Suddenly, it dawns on you. What if another dictator comes to power, this time with a vendetta against the Catholics? And what if his power reaches across the sea to you?

Because there is no written record of how you stopped caring about all religion. But there is a paper trail a mile long about your Catholic upbringing. You graduated from a Catholic grade school, graduated from a Catholic high school. You come from a family of devout Catholics, the kind that donates money to the Catholic church and volunteers at Catholic events.

And your parents. Religious apathy is one sore subject between you and them. They would never tell that army you are no longer one of them. In their eyes, this would be the perfect way to get you back in the church. And surely, they will think, our child will no longer burn in hell because our child has died a martyr with us.

Even if they did defend you, no one would believe them anyway.

You sure hope that doesn't happen.

And then, you go on with your day.

We Made Five Dollars YEAH!

2010-05-19T20:32:00.001-04:00

Help Tainted Tea reach $500 by September!

Spring 2010 Available NOW!

2010-05-18T19:16:00.003-04:00

Download Tainted Tea's issue at Lulu.com And don't forget to check out the Web site, too.

I also posted Tainted Tea on IndieGoGo, a fundraising Web site. Help this aspiring writer/editor by donating. You'll get free copies!

2010-04-15T21:19:00.002-04:00

Struggling with the Writer's Block. So here's this image I created with text and two rectangles.

In Bloom

2010-04-09T18:11:00.003-04:00

With a Rebel Yell, She Cries, "MOORE, MOORE, MOORE"

2010-04-07T20:55:00.003-04:00

I met my favorite writer, Christopher Moore!

He said he knew he wanted to be writer since he was 16 but didn't finish a book until 32. That gives me hope. And he called me an alpha nerd due to my amazing kitty hoodie. It's okay though, I think my hoodie is wicked cool (Thanks Jess Fowler!).

See MOORE about this (okay, no Moore puns. Seriously, this time) on Tainted Tea's blog.

Parking Lot Seagulls

2010-03-13T16:12:00.002-05:00

Did you ever wonder why seagulls migrate to parking lots? What drives them from the seashore with lots of water, sand, and mollusks to the Springfield Mall parking lot?

I'll never know. Anyway, here's this photo I took while I was waiting for a bus a few weeks ago.

New Video! Make a Tea Cup Out of String

2010-03-12T21:31:00.002-05:00

Man, one video and a bunch of flowing water photos today. I am kicking some blogging ass! Wow, I feel accomplished.

Water, Water Everywhere

2010-03-12T18:18:00.005-05:00

"Homunculus" by Sam Stephens

2010-03-12T02:14:00.003-05:00

I know, this is the second time in a row that I've posted a video from Channel Frederator.

But just watch it. It's more stop motion. This time, it's with monsters, cannibalism, and it's just fucking awesome. It'll make your life like 100 times better.

The Machine by Rob Shaw

2010-03-04T01:02:00.009-05:00

A stop motion macabre fairy tale about a robot who enjoys his power. It's awesome. And if you enjoy fairy tales, robots, animation, or just life itself, then you should watch this video.

Thank you, Channel Frederator!

I must remember to tell Shane R. Toogood.

And if you know a kid who might find this scary, then you should show it to him because March is Scare a Kid month, at least, according to R. L. Stine's Twitter.

2010-02-27T22:24:00.003-05:00

Also a friendly word to you horror writers and artists, Tainted Tea is hosting a flash fiction and bookmark contest that ends April 1. Details here.

The Writing Advice on the Internet

2010-02-18T22:24:00.006-05:00

Maybe I'm just being too cocky, but lately, every single article, book, video, etc. on "How to be a writer" is just saying the same thing over and over again.

Like this video by The Princess Diaries author, Meg Cabot. If you're like me, and you're not ashamed to admit that A. you read The Princess Diaries and B. you actually enjoyed reading The Princess Diaries, I highly recommend you to NOT watch this video. You may end up hating Meg Cabot. I only posted it here for emphasis, and now, after watching this, I despise Meg Cabot.

This video has nothing new to offer, and it tells everything in a rather condescending and completely unfunny way. As someone who hasn't published much fiction (at least, her own anyway), I know I don't have much say on this matter, but is this really all there is?

Can any writer out there tell us something new?

And even though I read The Princess Diaries back when I was in high school and haven't given it a single thought since then, I'm still really disappointed. Man, Meg Cabot. Why must you come across as such a phony, such a goddamned phony in this video?

It Snowed!

2010-02-18T01:23:00.006-05:00

A lot.

Tainted Tea Winter 2010

2010-02-16T23:19:00.004-05:00

Greetings Readers of My Blog! Tainted Tea Winter 2010 is available for download.

This issue is very art-heavy, very colorful, PLUS it features an exclusive look at the return of EC Comics, who created Tales from the Crypt and many other great comics.

2010-02-15T02:28:00.003-05:00

And also, I feel like I finally have a "real" blog now because I just deleted my first spam comments: three to be exact. To put things in perspective, Tainted Tea was up for three months before we started getting spam, and I've had this blog since like 1875. Spam! It comes in a can! YEAH!

New Tainted Tea Issue

2010-02-15T02:13:00.003-05:00

After a week of laying out Tainted Tea and being trapped under mounds of ice and snow, I desperately wanted to use some color. Maybe I went overboard, I wouldn't say I did. But here's a promo poster that is completely different from what I usually do with Tainted Tea.

Yes, I am fully aware that the ezine is not about the neon and the 80s, but that's all minor details. However, all the text is correct.

Coming soon: Pictures of the mounds of ice and snow that is blanketing the East Coast.

Things Every Young Journalist Should Know

2010-02-08T19:00:00.002-05:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

And the link because my blog template isn't large enough for it.

Writer Advice Contest

2010-01-29T01:28:00.002-05:00

For those writers who don't write in the horror genre, here's something for you.

WriterAdvice seeks flash fiction, memoir, and creative non-fiction that mesmerizes the reader in 750 words or less. DEADLINE: April 15, 2010. Entry fee: $10 per submission. First prize: $150. Former prizewinners are the judges. Complete guidelines, mailing address, and prizes at www.writeradvice.com.

Tainted Tea Flash Fiction and Bookmark Contest!

2010-01-23T16:22:00.002-05:00

More Tainted Tea news; this time it's a contest. So, get to it.

Flash Fiction

Complete a story in 1,000 words or less. There is no specific subject, but all stories must either be dark, macabre, or something in the horror genre. Judging will be based on character development, plot, originality, and overall storytelling.

Prizes

The WINNER will receive Underland by Mick Farren, a novel involving vampires, Nazis, and Antarctica. The winner will also be published in the Spring 2010 issue of Tainted Tea and will receive a free PDF.

The RUNNER-UP will be published on Tainted Tea's blog.

Bookmark

Create bookmark. It doesn't matter how, just as long as the bookmark fits with Tainted Tea's theme. Judging will be based on subject matter, composition, and overall design. Tainted Tea cannot receive mail, so we can only accept bookmarks mailed as JPGs.

Prizes

The WINNER will receive the tea cup and saucer featured on the cover of Tainted Tea Spring 2010 issue. The winner will also be published in the Spring 2010 issue and will receive a free PDF.

The RUNNER -UP will be published on Tainted Tea's blog.

Deadline

The deadline is April 1, 2010.

Writing Insights

2010-01-12T23:37:00.003-05:00

Not from me, but from new writer, K.R. Moorhead. (Click the image. Wow, that sounds like spam. Believe me, it's just an interview.)

And if you haven't picked it up yet, read her book, The First Law of Motion. It's like a modern The Catcher in the Rye told by a young hipster woman. And if you're from Philly, you may recognize most of the settings.

Tainted Tea's Redesigned Blog

2010-01-07T20:42:00.002-05:00

It's just the banner, but I like it. If I do say so myself.

See it here.

2010-01-07T19:25:00.003-05:00

Regardless, of what The Guardian says, I think the tagline for Clash of the Titans remake is brilliant.

And for those of you who don't feel like reading the article or watching the video, the tagline is, drum roll, please, "Titans will clash."

Sometimes, these things just write themselves.

Book Review: Sex Dungeon for Sale!

2009-12-30T21:50:00.003-05:00

Patrick Wensink's short story collection, Sex Dungeon for Sale!, is not for everyone. If not for title alone, try a journalist figuring out how to put a positive spin on killer washing machines or a suburban America where children are suicide bombers. But if you like Christopher Moore, Douglas Adams, or yes, even Kurt fucking Vonnegut, then Wensink should pique your interest.

Sex Dungeon for Sale! is a short story collection for readers with very little attention spans (wow! Mini stickers!). There are 12 stories; most of them averaging between three to five pages in length. Only two reach the ten-page mark.

This is both a blessing and a curse.

This book is perfect for readers on the go; it can be read anytime and anywhere. And like any good joke, Wensink sets readers up for the laugh and delivers the punch within minutes.

Though Wensink is witty and delightful, his flash fiction reads like jokes. Great jokes, but not short stories. A majority of his situations and characters are like The Nightmare Before Christmas's clown with a tear-away face, "Here in a flash and gone without a trace."

At times, it seems like Wensink is trying too hard to make us laugh. "Me and Gerardo Down by the Schoolyard" explores what happens after Rico Suave stormed the U.S. and Right Said Fred was too sexy for anything. The early '90s references will put a smile on any VH1 enthusiast's face, but the ending is so clichéd, it's groan inducing. In "My Son Thinks He's French," it seems like Wensink is too busy hating on Europe, he forgets to tell a story.

This isn't to say that Wensink isn't a good writer. There is immense potential here. He is a master of snappy punch lines. Wensink started his career as a journalist, and it shows. Every last line is memorable. His cheeky wit will make readers smile (or smirk, depending on the story). Also, Wensink can deliver surprise endings like M. Night Shyamalan.

Despite the ridiculous premises of his stories, Wensink has some important things to say. Though "Wash, Rinse, Repeat" is about killer washing machines, he writes "God, what's worse—the fact that America demands a KILL cycle, or the fact we're too dumb to avoid it?"

"Pandemic Jones," the longest story in the collection, is a great tale. The pharmaceutical company with a revolutionary sales technique is an intriguing and fully developed premise with likable and empathetic characters.

When given the room, Wensink can write a great story. According to his biography, he is working on a full-length novel, and I can't wait to see what Wensink can do. With his wit and humor, his talent is sure to flourish.

Sex Dungeon For Sale! is part of The New Bizarro Author Series. Editor Kevin L. Donihe explains, "For every book published in this series, the following will be true: This is the author's first published book, we're testing the waters to see if this author can find a readership, and whether or not you see more Eraserhead Press titles from this author is up to you."

I hope to see many titles from Patrick Wensink.

Oh Really?

2009-12-21T23:12:00.001-05:00

Addendum to the Coloring Contest

2009-12-15T22:46:00.004-05:00

A few more words on my previous post: New writer and coloring contest judge Patrick Wensink needs your help on finding a winner. He's narrowed it down to 13 choices, so you can vote on your favorite here. Voting closes December 17.

Also, stayed tuned for my review of his new book, Sex Dungeon for Sale!, coming late December.

Thoughts on Twitter

2009-12-08T00:14:00.005-05:00

At first, I thought Twitter was the dumbest Web site ever created. "Who could possibly care that much about a person to follow their every move," I thought. "And what kind of person would post their life on the Internet?" Please ignore the fact that I have a blog, a Facebook, and now, a Twitter.

But, a few days ago, I discovered why Twitter is amazing.

Behold, a quick conversation between JOE HILL!!! AND NEIL GAIMAN!!!!

What are they talking about? I have no idea. But, IT'S JOE HILL AND NEIL GAIMAN!!!!!!

Cycle Mania

2009-12-08T00:10:00.003-05:00

And I thought I was badass because I, like, try to jump creeks and fail like no one has ever failed before.

Cheers to you, friend.

(On another note, I wish I knew more HTML so these videos wouldn't be cut off. Here's the link to see the non-cut-off video.)

COLORING CONTEST!! And Free Books!

2009-12-01T15:54:00.004-05:00

Do you like to color? How about free books? If you're like me and you answered, "Hell yeah!" to both questions, check out upcoming writer Patrick Wensink's coloring contest.

Here's the details:

Patrick Wensink recently decided there’s only one way to celebrate the release of his book, “Sex Dungeon for Sale!”. And that is by holding a coloring contest.

He had a series of illustrations created based on some of the book’s stories, including a Kindergartener who thinks he’s French, a puddle of ketchup shaped like Elvis and something called, “Chicken Soup for the Kidnapper’s Soul.”

While the coloring contest sounded like fun, Wensink added a little excitement by offering an autographed stack of his favorite books from 2009 to the winner:

Fool- By Christopher Moore
Tales Designed to Thrizzle – by Michael Kupperman
AM/PM – By Amelia Gray
Help! A Bear is Eating Me! – By Mykle Hansen

The contest ends December 14.

For all the details visit www.patrickwensink.com/randomness

Tainted Tea's Official Web Site

2009-11-10T22:18:00.005-05:00

We finally did it, despite our almost complete lack of HTML knowledge and Web publishing (sorry Colin Lenton). See it here: TaintedTea.com

Tainted Tea and Write On! For Literacy

2009-11-09T20:59:00.003-05:00

Tainted Tea was recently interviewed by Dallas Woodburn, founder of Write On! For Literacy and amazing author.

Read it here.

New Portfolio Site

2009-11-09T20:45:00.001-05:00

Now with my own domain name: leakyfossett.com

Shane R. Toogood's Article

2009-11-08T20:50:00.003-05:00

in Broadway.tv

I'm quoted in the lead! And Shane wrote a damn good article, too.

Autumn Foilage

2009-11-05T16:09:00.003-05:00

Happy Fall!

My Favorite...

2009-11-05T15:56:00.003-05:00

...Songs About Love, Relationships, etc.

"Us" Regina Spektor
"Mood 4 Luv" Reggie and the Full Effect
"02-75" The Mountain Goats
"Just Like Heaven" The Cure
"Maps" Yeah Yeah Yeahs
"Obvious" Hey Monday
"Portions For Foxes" Rilo Kiley
"Like I Love You" Justin Timberlake
"Transatlanticism" Death Cab for Cutie

Tainted Tea Press Awesome-ness

2009-11-03T15:56:00.003-05:00

Published in The Communitarian, DCCC's student-run newspaper by Katy O'Dwyer.

You should totally read it! It's a lovely article and a great newspaper.

And if you haven't already, check out Tainted Tea at Lulu.com It's only a $1.24. That's less than a coffee!

Blech.

2009-11-03T01:10:00.003-05:00

My Favorite...

2009-11-01T14:41:00.002-05:00

...Books Written in the First Person (because I know you were dying to know)

The Catcher in the Rye: J.D. Salinger
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius: Dave Eggers
Master of Reality: John Darnielle
Persepolis: Marjane Satrapi
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal: Christopher Moore
Heavy Metal and You: Christopher Krovatin
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist: Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

Halloween Greetings!

2009-10-31T17:44:00.001-04:00

Enjoy the holiday!

Reasons to Love Christopher Moore

2009-10-21T00:01:00.004-04:00

From Coyote Blue:
"Never face heavily armed bikers without your wubby."

From Fool:
"Jeff? The bloody frog prince is called Jeff?...He took my princess and my monkey's name!"

From Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff: Christ's Childhood Pal:
"'I've got it. Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake.'
'...What are you going to give them?'
'A fruit basket.'
'You can't give the meek the whole earth and these guys a fruit basket.'"

And finally, from Christopher Moore's travels to France:

TAINTED TEA FALL 2009 ISSUE OUT NOW!!!

2009-10-19T18:47:00.002-04:00

Download here.

(Sorry, we didn't realize that Lulu charges 1/4 of the price, so the magazine is $1.24 instead of $.99. And also, even though the poster has a later date, we wanted to give everyone a Halloween treat. Enjoy!)

Tainted Tea's First Issue...

2009-10-18T20:41:00.005-04:00

Even though, it's on Tainted Tea's blog, I figure the more places it's posted, the better.

Tell your friends!!

(Dates and prices subject to change.)

Zine News

2009-10-13T22:15:00.001-04:00

Now on Every Writer's Resource!

Find it here.

And the Frivolous Purchase of the Day is...

2009-10-01T15:40:00.003-04:00

...the sitar!

It was made in India, it's beautifully crafted, and it's bigger than me.

Do I know how to play it? Or even tune it for that matter?

I think those are irrelevant details.

Tainted Tea (again)

2009-09-29T00:44:00.005-04:00

In case you couldn't tell, readers of my blog, I'm really excited about the upcoming launch of Tainted Tea, the horror zine my friend, Shane R. Toogood, and I are publishing. It's hard to believe we've come this far in only six months. Now, we have a contributing staff, the submissions keep pouring in, and the first issue is almost ready for download.

Until mid October, please read an excerpt from "The Devil's Choir" by M.C. Brody.

Found Magazine

2009-09-25T23:02:00.003-04:00

So, I just discovered Found Magazine (and what a find, oh!) at a bookstore the other day.

I never realized the thrill of discovery from the things people discard. I've always loved looking at people's trash, but I never gave much thought to where things came from, where they've been, or why the owner tossed them.

Something interesting to think about. Thanks to Found Magazine, I think I just discovered how I'm going to clear out some of my unwanted and unused junk.

Fungus and Flower

2009-09-21T17:35:00.003-04:00

Zine News

2009-09-18T00:13:00.003-04:00

So, this zine that I'm publishing with Shane R. Toogood, is coming together so beautifully. We're publishing at least four short stories, a movie column, and several photographs. Look for the first issue in mid-October.

Until then, read our press release about the launch.

Some Photos from the Pocono Mountains

2009-09-12T19:00:00.003-04:00

Butterfly at Lake Tobyhana.

View from the top of Mount Pocono.

A bench on Lake Tobyhana.

Where Have All the Voice Actors Gone?

2009-09-10T22:45:00.003-04:00

Animation has hit it big this year, as far as great fucking movies go. Coraline was beautifully crafted and creepy, Up was uplifting (and for once, no pun intended) and brought me to tears, and even though I have yet to see Ponyo, I'm sure it's astonishing; Miyazaki can do no wrong.

Which brings me to 9, the Tim Burton produced film about sack dolls in a post-apocalyptic world. Like Coraline, 9 is visually stunning, and viewers can tell that lots of time and care went into the film. However, unlike Coraline, 9 failed to immerse me into their world.

Was it the under-developed story? The manic pace? Maybe.

But what bothered me the most was the voice of 9. Elijah Wood did nothing to create a voice for 9. To be honest, I'm not sure how a sack doll would sound, but it shouldn't sound like Elijah Wood.

Ever since Shrek, many animated movies have used big-name film actors instead of unknown voice actors. Sometimes, it works (once again, see Coraline) but most of the time, it fails. We see on-screen actors all the time, and they're great on film. But they're not voice actors. Most of them probably never trained to create different voices, and we're stuck with cartoon characters with normal voices.

Maybe using big names drawns in more people. But as an audience member, I would rather hear an unknown really bringing life into a character through voice, like Nancy Cartwright and Bart Simpson or Tom Kenny and Spongebob.

And if you haven't seen 9 yet, I would stick with the trailer. The trailer is amazing.

Honestly...

2009-08-18T00:28:00.003-04:00

...there are not enough movies about people who lose their limbs and replace them with ridiculous weapons.

Will these movies fix the economy and finally create jobs for the recently graduated?

We can only hope.

And Speaking of Mash Ups...

2009-08-16T23:56:00.004-04:00

...here's one more, this time it's Iron Maiden mash-up.

It's interesting, to say the least. Is it good? Well, yes and no. As I said before, it's interesting. If you're a Maiden fan, you should be entertained to hear Maiden with Beyonce, Public Enemy, and Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

Though listen to "Maiden Goes to Bollywood" first. Personally, I think Wax Audio's track makes the whole album worth it.

A Few Words on Green Day

2009-08-16T23:40:00.003-04:00

I love Green Day's American Idiot. Despite what other critics may say, I found a plot in the "punk rock opera" (even though I wouldn't call Green Day punk rock, but there is no way I'm getting into the whole "what is punk rock" debate. That causes too much hatred from too many idiots that I am not willing to deal with.) and I loved it.

Now it's 2009, and we have 21st Century Breakdown. This one, not so good. On the first listen, you realize it sounds like B-sides off American Idiot, and this time around, no plot. And "Know Your Enemy" is one the most annoyingly repetitive songs in the history of all pop music. In other words, a disappointment.

But this Green Day mash-up album, by Dean Gray is NOT a disappointment. In fact, it's quite delightful. And unlike 21st Century Breakdown, it's free, interesting, and not as pretentious.

As for me, I'm going to give Green Day another album before I dismiss them as awful. Until then, I'm going to enjoy this mash-up.

Addendum to the Recently Graduated

2009-08-03T18:11:00.003-04:00

See? You're not the only one. Though, I don't think we need to take such desperate measures. At least, I don't.

Though the headline really says all you need, here's the story.

Disappointed with the New Harry Potter Movie?

2009-07-23T01:28:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I was too. The book is enjoyable, even if it is the weakest of the series, but the film adaptation is just painful. Too long, too much focus on teenage love and not focus enough on zombies and main character killing. Though, I found Helena Bonham Carter's performance hilarious.

So, try this instead.

Video not by me. But by this awesome guy.

Just a Thought

2009-07-20T22:12:00.008-04:00

If you pay attention to the news media enough, you're bound to become the slightest bit paranoid. I don't know how many times the television news reiterates that it's not safe to step outside your door. According to "the news," there's bad people everywhere, just waiting to kill you. Or it's something about Michael Jackson. (But who knows, he may be old news by time I finish writing this).

And if that's not bad enough, now, it's not safe to eat.

Or drink water.

Journalism is dying. There's plenty of reasons why. Readers of this blog, I'm sure you have your theories. So do I.

But maybe, just maybe, if the news media outlets could stop telling us that the world is a shit place and that we're all going to die in some horrible fashion, just maybe, journalism could find an audience again. Maybe, the news media could tell us something nice once in awhile. Provide some hope in this failing economy, failing environment, lying politicians, war torn, blah, blah, blah world.

Just a thought.

Notice Anything about the Dolphin Show?

2009-07-19T12:59:00.006-04:00

These photos were taken at the National Aquarium in Baltimore's dolphin show. During the finale, audience members stood on each side of the tank and waved flags while one of the dolphins jumped and hit a ball.

See anything slightly wrong with how the groups were separated?

Side A

Side B

Or should I say segregated?

See the below post for some nice shots of the Inner Harbor.

Some Nice Pictures of Baltimore's Inner Harbor

2009-07-19T12:54:00.003-04:00

To the Recent College Graduate who Studied Journalism

2009-07-14T23:23:00.005-04:00

I and many other journalism students knew this wasn't going to be easy. Hell, if you went to Temple University almost every class had a "Journalism is doomed and so are you" speech at the end of the semester.

But this is ridiculous. With newspapers and magazines folding everyday, the recently-graduated journalist has to compete with the 15-plus-years-experience journalist for the same job. Who's going to get hired? The former Decibel intern or the former Editor-in-Chief of Metal Maniacs?

Yeah, it sucks. I know that many recent grads are still at the minimum wage paying, bullshit job they had in college (myself included), or they don't have a job at all.

But it can't stay like this forever. The economy has to pick back up eventually. And until it does, try these things while you're waiting for that job that utilizes your career.

1. Learn another language. Journalism is about communicating with your sources, and you never know whose story you're going to tell. With the My ____ Coach games on the Nintendo DS (there's Japanese, Chinese, French, and Spanish), learning a new language is cheap and relatively easy. Sure, they're no Rosetta Stones, but they're a talking dictionary, with over 100 lessons. And there's games. Hai!

2. Start your own zine or blog. Forget what your school said, the Internet is awesome. It makes publishing easy and almost free. A domain name costs 10 bucks, and for those who are less Web savvy, blog accounts are free. Who cares if you're not making much (or any) money? It's a resume builder, and the experience is invaluable. See my zine Tainted Tea or my friends at Damage Control.

3. Pitch, publish, repeat. Neil Gaiman wrote, "Better I should call to people who aren't there than that people who are there should miss us because I didn't say anything." Find publications. If you're really stuck, try the Writer's Market Guide. Or just go to a coffeeshop, bar, or bookstore and see what free publications are there. Write to editors. The worst they can do is say, "No" or ignore you. And you never know who might be reading your blog.

So, with these words recent journalism graduate, I bid you farewell. Keep your head up. And remember, story ideas are everywhere. You just need to know where to look.

A Quick Thank You Note

2009-07-14T22:38:00.007-04:00

I would like to thank everyone who has stopped by this blog of mine and took the time to look around.

I placed Google's AdSense on my blog about a month ago, and now it's paid off.

Readers of my blog, I made my first one cent today from Google ads!! You know, it is one penny that I didn't have before.

Thank you for your support. Please keep coming back for more Kris Fossett.

A Few Words on Regina Spektor

2009-07-10T00:19:00.005-04:00

If you enjoy life, then you should listen to Regina Spektor's new album, Far. Though it's not as varied in sound as her last album, Begin to Hope, it's quirky, cute, and upbeat. It's like rainbows and ponies, in singer/songwriter/pianist form.

However, clearly, the Pitchfork hates life. Those poor critics, no one taught them how to love.

Speaking of love, here's a picture of a cloud.

Re: Tainted Tea Help

2009-07-09T21:19:00.002-04:00

Never mind, I've found someone. Her name is Allie, and she's amazing.

But feel free to submit, still.

Tainted Tea Help

2009-07-09T18:06:00.002-04:00

My web zine, Tainted Tea, is looking for artists to help with posters, stickers, and maybe Web design. Send me an email at TaintedTea.Editors@gmail.com

Tainted Tea is also accepting short stories, narrative poetry, artwork, and movie reviews. Please see my other blog for more details.

Scary Wolves, Michael Jackson, Asia, and a Bee

2009-07-06T00:04:00.003-04:00

I highly enjoyed celebrating my nation's independence this weekend. Do any of these photos have anything to do with the Fourth of July holiday?

Well, I think so.

I am...

2009-07-02T22:36:00.004-04:00

...extraordinarily happy this trailer exists.

Pure cinematic gold. Like Dragonball: Evolution. Actually, no. This looks even more awesome.

I don't why YouTube videos are cut off at the edge, so here's the link.

2009-06-29T01:28:00.002-04:00

I don't understand H.P. Lovecraft.

And I tried. I really did. I read anthologies from the library and even purchased a few (or one) at this amazing used bookstore. But I just don't see the appeal. Every time I read a story, it's over, and I've missed the monster or the GREAT, BIG HORROR at the end. I go back, and I still miss the damn thing.

But even still, I really enjoyed "I Cthulhu" by Neil Gaiman. It's short, quirky, and entertaining. If you get a chance or if you like staying up late for no particular reason, even though you know you have work in less than six hours, you should check out this story.

It's About Bloody Time!

2009-06-28T20:26:00.004-04:00

I don't know about you, but I'm relieved to see that Honduras is on the front page or top story or whatever you call the first story on an Internet news source. It's not that I didn't like Micheal Jackson (how can you not love Thriller? Even robots love Thriller.) But aren't there more important things in the world going on?

I mean, the man hadn't made a decent album in decades. And he was bat shit crazy (see proof from Chris Leavins). But, still, he was a media spectacle, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

But look at this kick ass doll my friend's mother found! (Further proof that you can't hate Thriller.)

And don't worry Farrah Fawcett. I remembered you, at least.

Book Review: Stage Fright

2009-06-26T22:33:00.003-04:00

Oh man, Stage Fright by Michael Paine is so bad, it doesn't even deserve a picture.

First off, I found this book at Giant Book Warehouse, a discount place for books that other stores couldn't sell. That should of said something right there. But, I liked the cover. How bad could it be?

Horrendous. I had no idea a book could be this bad.

This book is about ghosts. And throughout the book, every character will remind you about that. Almost every conversation starts out with, "Do you believe in ghosts?" "My thesis is about ghosts." "I like ghosts." "Ghosts touch me in a funny place." Okay, so maybe that's not verbatim, but the main character does enjoy getting raped and engaging in S&M play with ghosts.

And yes, it gets even worse.

Instead of focusing on a haunted theater in the middle of nowhere, which the back cover promised, the first half of the book is about college students trying to start a theater company. It takes the students over 100 pages (a third of the book) to find the theater, while chapters start out with monologues from the ghosts at the theater taking away any mystery or fear.

Paine created characters that were unrealistic. No character in this book warranted my sympathy. When the students first explore the ancient theater, one person dies viciously and another goes missing, but what the living characters are worried about are relationship problems and S&M sex. Why S&M is mentioned so much in a book supposedly about ghosts is beyond me.

Honestly, I just kept going because I couldn't wait for everyone to die, which most of them do in a quick, cheap bang! at the end. And of course, it leaves the door open for a sequel.

Now if that's published, that's truly scary.

0 out of 7

London Leftovers

2009-06-20T02:32:00.005-04:00

Here's some photos from my trip to London that I wasn't able to publish, thanks to a slow Internet connection and the desire to stay in my flat for as little as possible and actually explore.

These are from Bath.

Philadelphia Photos

2009-06-17T15:09:00.003-04:00

Well, I guess one of the nice things about losing a camera charger is that I can post old photos. Here's some of Philadelphia.

Temple's Center City Campus (TUCC) building.

The Ben Franklin Bridge.

And West Philly. I think this is near 46th and Market Streets.

Jesus is Scary

2009-06-16T00:52:00.005-04:00

A postcard my grandfather owned. "Watch the eyes. They will suddenly open," reads the bottom.

I don't want to be around when they do.

In Philly, on the corner of 15th and South Streets is a delicious Mexican restaurant called Pico de Gallo. This is in the bathroom. He watches you as you poo.

And this is found at New York City's St. Patrick's Cathedral. Sort of looks like the postcard. Do his eyes also open? I didn't stay around long enough to find out.

See what I mean?

You Can...

2009-06-14T22:24:00.003-04:00

...try to get your work published by clicking on the ads from Google found on the side of my blog.

Or, you can submit your work to Tainted Tea. At least, if you click on my magazine's blog, you won't run the risk of crashing your computer with a virus or anything.

Lost Camera Charger

2009-06-13T02:07:00.005-04:00

I put my digital camera charger in a "safe place so I can't lose it." And I will never see that again.

But at least it gives me a reason to post some old photos. Here are some I took when I went to New York City. Can you tell what season it is?

Both at Central Park.

And this guy is made of jelly beans. He was at F.A.O. Schwartz.

Even though I can't post any new photos, I can still work on my literary magazine, Tainted Tea, which you should check out. And if you're a writer or an artist, you should submit your work.

Movie Review: Alien Apocalypse

2009-06-04T23:05:00.004-04:00

The box of Alien Apocalypse promises "Starship Troopers meets Army of Darkness."

Well, there are giant bugs. And Bruce Campbell stars in it. And that's about as close as this gets to that promised movie. (Man, just close your eyes and imagine Ash chainsawing his way through giant bugs and zombies. Or even better, giant zombie bugs. Now, that would be an awesome movie).

This is not an awesome movie.

Bruce Campbell plays an astronaut doctor that's been frozen in space for the past 40 years. He and his crew return to Earth, and they discover all of humanity is enslaved by alien termites.

Yes, there is potential there for an entertaining B movie. But this movie decides to suck instead.

Alien termites suck. They force humans to work, which is moving one piece of wood from one truck to another. Humans also can't escape these work camps because of there's a fence in the way.

But Bruce Campbell's character finds a way. And he discovers that these aliens can be killed. With a drill bit. With arrows. With rocks. And he gathers up a force, and you know the rest.

This movie moves slower than a turtle stuck in molasses going uphill. It's not even an enjoyable bad movie. Yes, there are scenes when molatovs and machine guns just appear out of nowhere, but that's not until the very end, and by that point you've lost interest.

Every character is boring. I'm not at all convinced they want their freedom. I think they like being enslaved.

And also a note on the story: Humanity uses guns. Lots and lots of guns. And like, nuclear bombs. If these aliens can be killed with rocks, you would think they would have been wiped out within seconds.

1 out of 7

Farewell David Carradine

2009-06-04T17:15:00.000-04:00

I greatly enjoyed your work. You shall be missed.

Hiking Time

2009-06-02T16:34:00.002-04:00

Well, sort of. The woods were surrounded by a neighborhood, trolley tracks, and a school. Photos taken at a park in Springfield, PA.

Except this one. This rose in on my lawn.

Movie Review: My Name is Bruce

2009-06-01T01:26:00.006-04:00

An ancient Chinese war god and patron saint of bean curd is accidentally unleashed and decapitates the small town of Gold Lick. There's only one man who can save them and that's Bruce Campbell. The problem is, as one BC fan discovers, is that Bruce Campbell is not Ash. But the fan kidnaps Bruce Campbell anyway and hopes for the best.

There's also cameos from Ted Raimi, Tree Rape Girl, Jake from Evil Dead II, and the blacksmith from Army of Darkness (yeah, I don't exactly remember him either, luckily the actor reminds us.)

If this means anything to you, then you will enjoy this movie. Is this the greatest movie Bruce Campbell has ever made? Far from it. But it is a good way to spend a Saturday night with fellow Bruce Campbell fans and point out thrown in Bruce-isms and others things relating to BC Awesome-ness.

5 out of 7

Terminator: Salvation

2009-05-31T01:37:00.002-04:00

Would be so much better if they had a scene like this:

JOHN CONNOR: I can't make it! I think I have a tumor on my leg!
AHR-NOLD BOT: It is not a too-moor.

[Shit blows up around them.]

JOHN CONNOR: I don't know what to do now!
AHR-NOLD BOT: Go! Get to zee choppa!
JOHN CONNOR: I can't do this! I'm freaking out!
AHR-NOLD BOT: It's cool. Chill out. Let's kick some ice.

[AHR-NOLD BOT leaves.]

JOHN CONNOR: Wait. Where are you going?
AHR-NOLD BOT: I'll be back. It's Turbo Time!

So much better!

Book Review: Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere

2009-05-31T00:25:00.008-04:00

If you're a Neil Gaiman fan, you know that the man can do no wrong.

And if you're not a Neil Gaiman fan, well, it's high time you've begun reading him.

This book is not written by Neil Gaiman.

Instead, this was written by Mike Carey and Glenn Fabry. This is the graphic novel adaptation of Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere.

If you've read the novel, you'll love this. And even if you haven't read the novel, you'll still love this anyway.

To summarize quickly, it's the story of London nobody who helps a mysterious young woman on the street, and then discovers another world beneath the city, called London Below. Nothing is ever the same. It's a story about becoming more than ever thought you could be and also about the city of London itself.

Fabry's artwork makes the action pop from the pages. The action and detail is beautiful. London Below is alive, dancing in front of your eyes as you read. You can hear the Beast roar and the soft, ominous footfalls of Croup and Vandemar following behind you.

Carey's adaptation is flawless. It loses none of Gaiman's storytelling, voice, or power. Sure, it's different from the original. As it should be. The graphic novel is a new experience and shouldn't be missed by anyone.

If you've been waiting for another big screen adaptation of Gaiman's work, check this book out. It's better than a movie, and you won't be disappointed.

7 out of 7.

Expect Huge Things!

2009-05-28T21:11:00.004-04:00

From Tainted Tea! Meeting with Shane R. Toogood and getting ready for submissions!!!

Since this is my personal blog, I can say this: The zine is going to be good! In fact, better than good (in Shane's case, TOO GOOD!!! Har dee har harr! Sorry Shane.) It's going to be AMAY-ZINE!!

Okay, that's enough puns for tonight.

See the Tainted Tea blog for details.

We Need Kendo!

2009-05-28T16:23:00.004-04:00

There are lots of things I think the Philadelphia suburbs need.

Like a convenient public transportation system that won't take to you to Points C, D, E, F, G, H, I, and J before you hit Point B. Or coffee shops that aren't Starbucks. Or just fill in the blank. If you live in a suburb, you know what I'm talking about.

But what I think the suburbs are most seriously lacking is kendo dojos.

Is that too much to ask? There has to be a large audience who want to learn the ancient art of Japanese sword fighting. I can only hack away at my boyfriend with a wooden katana for so long before one of us loses an eye.

And if you need martial arts weapons, like those metal stick things Raphael from the Turtles uses or wooden katanas, try this place.

Some Clouds

2009-05-26T01:58:00.001-04:00

This Tree

2009-05-26T01:52:00.003-04:00

...has a butt!

New Videos

2009-05-24T02:10:00.004-04:00

One involving my brother's puppy.

And another involving some jellyfish.

Scorsese? Far from it. But they were a fun way to spend a Saturday night at home.

Tainted Tea Blog Up

2009-05-21T00:51:00.003-04:00

First post.

Should be more soon. Keep your eyes open!

Elephants are cool.

2009-05-18T18:34:00.005-04:00

Especially when they have people in their mouths.

Or can stand on little stools.

Paint pictures.

And just pretend this one isn't blurry.

Saving the Economy...

2009-04-04T22:22:00.006-04:00

One giant tennis ball at a time.

And what use do I have for a giant tennis ball besides it being completely fucking awesome and unnecessary?

None. None whatsoever.

I'd like to think I'm sticking true to my goal of not buying ridiculous things in these harsh economic times.

Speaking of which, check out this blue koala bear I scored at F.A.O. Schwarz. His name is Bruce. It says so on the hat, which you probably won't be able to read due to my built-in camera that seems to photo a mirror image.

Interns

2009-03-26T13:29:00.003-04:00

...are amazing. Trying to launch a magazine by researching other publications' content and advertisers would be so much easier with help.

Well, duh. That's why it's called help.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining or anything. I love doing this. But I do feel interns are important at publications because frankly, when I interned at Decibel Magazine and Electronic Ink, I really didn't feel needed at all. Now, I know better.

Note to self: Interns really help out with the research and promotion. Don't take them for granted and treat them right. And try to pay them. After I can pay myself and the contributors, of course.

2009-03-24T22:33:00.009-04:00

In a more or less recent discussion with my best friend, Shane, we discovered why we can't blog when we're not traveling. And the answer we came up with: our lives are boring. I mean, what do we do when we're not cavorting all over Europe? We go to work, come home, hang out. And that's it.

But now, hopefully life won't be so boring. Shane and I are collaborating on a new project. And it's going to be big, daring. World-changing, even.

Or maybe it's just a webzine bringing a new light to horror fiction and horror writers. A webzine that publishes well-written horror stories with strong character development mixed with compelling story that looks beyond big-breasted women being chased through the woods by a masked man wielding a chainsaw. A webzine for young, aspiring short story writers to publish their work and find tips on how to better their writing.

Photo by J. Toogood.

It's called Tainted Tea.

New Puppy!

2009-03-16T16:04:00.002-04:00

Well, not mine, but my brother's. Photo by my dad.